Binx vs. Betty

Even at the end of the world, he knows how to make us laugh

Warren Ellis writes:

Funnily enough, though, Spook Turds From The Bottom Of The Sea are washing up on the shores of New Zealand. Now, this is New Zealand for you: a six foot long barnacled white lump of fatty crap turns up on the beach. What do the locals do?

Mrs Wilkie was keen to cut the greasy lump into blocks and sell it as
moisturising sunblock.

Because that’s the first thing you think of when an alien turd the size of a Smartcar plonks itself on the sand. Not “what in hell did that come out of?” But “can I screw a few dollars out of people by conning them into rubbing sea-monster shit on their skin?” You can at least rely on the English to try and screw it or smoke it first.